You Can Drink At The Mos Eisley Cantina From ‘Star Wars’ (For One Special Night)
Though Chicago is popularly considered the most dangerous city in America, the city’s crime rates are actually at a “historic low” (or cops are fudging the numbers at “historically high” levels). But...
View ArticleThe World Health Organization Just Categorized Bacon As Cancer-Causing
Because the world wasn’t a sad enough place already, a report released by the World Health Organization today has classified bacon and other processed meats like sausage and pastrami as “carcinogenic...
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FACT: Kids Eat More Calories On Halloween Than The Rock’s Famous Diet
Shutterstock / Wikimedia commons 10 pounds of food. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson eats ten pounds of food every day. Let’s put that in perspective: an average chihuahua weighs four pounds. So in a...
View ArticleUnhappy Meal: Study Proves Fast Food Commercials Prey On Children
A recent study by The Journal of Pediatrics found that kids who watched fast food commercials targeted at children requested fast food more often than the control group who watched non-targeted...
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The Best Way To Lose Weight Is, Surprisingly, Not Through A Low-Fat Diet
ShutterstockShe's only smiling so she won't cry. Most diets follow the same three rules: 1. Eat a bit less 2. Drink more water. 3. Move around some. But much in the same way that most religions share...
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Tinder Could Cause ‘Explosion Of HIV,’ According To Buzzkill Doctor
ShutterstockUnfortunately, "rub some dirt on it" is not sound medical advice for STIs. In a move that is a definite swipe left for the short-term happiness of Tinder users, Dr. Peter Greenhouse from...
View ArticleForget Polar Bears, Now Global Warming Is Messing With Our Sex Lives!
Despite what most hot tub/sauna-based pornography would have you believe, there is nothing particularly steamy about steamy sex. In fact, according to a recent report from The National Bureau of...
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A Young Man’s Guide To Going Bald With Dignity
Shutterstock I have said all of these things: 18 YEARS OLD: “This is the same hair dye that Fred Durst uses, right? It is very important to me that I look exactly like Fred Durst.” 25 YEARS OLD: “I’m...
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Why Unmarried 30-Somethings Are Unhappier Than Ever
Shutterstock Turning 30 is tough; high school kids start calling you “sir,” the first rogue grey hairs are sighted, and Ken Burns documentaries become almost irresistibly entertaining. While all of...
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Go Green Or Go Sober! Now Global Warming Is Taking Away Our Beer
Shutterstock In a development that will soon make Chico State the premier institution for climate-change research, a Belgian brewery is now making less beer due to the effects of global warming. The...
View ArticleHitler’s Erection Potion And Other Strange (And Deadly) Viagra Alternatives
The following is a historical fact: Adolph Hitler regularly received injections of “testosterone and a cocktail made from the semen and prostate glands of young bulls” straight into the shaft of his...
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Meet The Gym That Is Powered By Sweat
Shutterstock At most gyms, the treadmills are used for pondering the deliciousness of coffee cake and the inaccuracies of the CNN subtitles on the TVs while plodding away at 3.5 mph. But at the Eco Gym...
View ArticleShould Tipping Be A Thing Of The Past? This Restaurant Thinks So
Joe’s Crab Shack, a restaurant that knows its customer base so well that their preferred serving size is “a bucket,” has eliminated tipping at their locations in select cities, with plans to spread...
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Larry David’s 10 Commandments Will Help You Lead A Pretty, Pretty, Pretty...
Shutterstock / Paramount Pictures (Optional 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Make Shitty Photoshops of Larry David) We aren’t saying Larry David is exactly like Moses, but there are a few...
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Has A Drug That Battles Alcoholism Unlocked The Cure To HIV?
Shutterstock Here in the United States, HIV is no longer the death sentence it once was — but that doesn’t mean it’s solved, not by a mile. Nearly 37 million people are living with HIV internationally,...
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This Food Will Make You Seem Sexier, According To The Coolest Study Ever
Shutterstock Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, it takes more than a cool truck and stomach muscles to attract a willing mate. There are deeper biological forces at work, things that...
View ArticleCome For The Scum, Stay For The Villainy: The ‘Star Wars’ Travel Guide To...
In anticipation of the release of The Force Awakens on Dec. 18, Uproxx will be taking a weekly look at some of the real-world destinations that inspired the classic films, as well as sharing tips on...
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5 Gross Things Hiding In Your Movember Mustache (And How To Get Rid Of Them)
Shutterstock We’re now entering the final week of Movember, and fundraisers who have weathered the storms of social mockery and spousal disapproval have learned some important lessons about mustache...
View ArticleHere’s Your Proof That Turkeys Are Devil-Beasts That Deserve To Be Feasted Upon
Consider this true story: One day, many years ago, a young man was golfing by himself in a small Northern California town. Neither the boy nor the town were especially remarkable, and the golf course...
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STUDY: Men Gorge On Pizza In Their Misguided Attempt To Impress Women
Shutterstock There are two motivations for almost every action performed by men: 1. “Chet dared me to do it.” 2. To impress people who might have sex with us While these factors have accounted for much...
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Take That, Death! This Pill Might Let You Live 50 Percent Longer.
Getty Image / Temple Hill Entertainment There are several important reasons why I spent the better part of the morning photoshopping Wilford Brimley’s face onto a sexy vampire’s body. 1. Because this...
View ArticleThe Incredible, Improbable Story Of The ‘Ruso Loco’ Who Visited 107 Countries...
There are two things I want to make clear before I begin this article: 1. I’m not sure if this story is entirely true. 2. I’m not sure if that entirely matters. I interviewed Yasik “Ruso Loco”...
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Mark Zuckerberg Declares Facebook ‘Safe Environment’ For Muslims In Heartfelt...
Getty Image In a heartfelt post that is sure to be buried under a tidal wave of xenophobia and requests to play Candy Crush, Mark Zuckerberg offered his “support of Muslims in our community and around...
View ArticleEat And Drink These Star Wars Specialties To Prepare For ‘The Force Awakens’
There are two questions that are usually best left unasked in most science fiction, but especially in Star Wars. 1. Where do people poop? Though Wookiepeedia does explain the “refreshers” in the Star...
View ArticleSix Real-Life Places To Visit For The Full Endor Experience
When Return of the Jedi was released in 1983, there were two divergent, yet equally powerful reactions to the scenes on the forest moon of Endor: 1. What in the good goddamn are those teddy bear...
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All The Times The Real Saint Nick Was A Jolly Old Badass
Miramax Films/Shutterstock With the very notable exception of Suge Knight, obese men in red suits are very infrequently described as badass. But when you scratch beneath his jolly exterior, Santa...
View ArticleHan Solo Is Here To Make You A Better Traveler!
When you get past the laser sword fights and the frog warlocks and the timeless beauty of Carrie Fisher, Star Wars is basically just a bunch of space monks telling us how to live our lives. “Use the...
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Five Weird Holiday Traditions You Should Steal This Year
Shutterstock/youtube/Wikimedia Commons/Tony Nordin/Toniher From decorating trees and manger scenes for Christians, to lighting candles and spinning dreidels for Jews, to drinking eggnog for milky,...
View ArticleThe Best Burrito In America Might Just Be Found In This Gas Station
In most cases, gas station food is only eaten by the most desperate of travelers and the most delirious of stoners. It’s an experience that’s typically marked with lingering regret and occasional food...
View ArticleYou’re Not As Bad At Breakups As George Costanza Is
Many people consider Seinfeld a comedy, but they’re wrong. Despite its masturbation wagers, yodeling belly buttons, Newmania, and other hilarious moments, the show was clearly a work of fantasy. How...
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Tater Tots Are The Steve Buscemi Of Food; It’s Time You Show Them Some Love
Working Title Films/Shutterstock Before I hop on my soapbox about fried potatoes, I’m gonna hop on my soapbox about Steve Buscemi. The man has been in some of the most unforgettable movies of the past...
View ArticleOne Of America’s Best Bakeries Closes In Two Days — Go Now Or Regret It Forever
Cookie Casa Bakery in West Hollywood is closing this Saturday. At first glance, this doesn’t seem like particularly sad or even noteworthy news: One less artisanal bakery with a silly name in a city...
View ArticleMeet The Renegade Restaurant That Hopes To Change Fast Food Forever
There are so many things to say about Locol (currently open in Watts, California) that the food almost becomes an afterthought. The restaurant aims to offer a healthier alternative to traditional fast...
View ArticleThis Restaurant Owner Is Attacking All His Negative Reviewers On Yelp
I know a few things about bad reviews. Two months before my first (and only) book came out, I received this review on my Goodreads page: Horrid, horrid, really no words to describe it. With those...
View ArticleOn Learning The Fitness Secret Of Celebrities And Other Beautiful People
“Try and break me.” Of the many stupid things I’ve said in my life — “I’ll take the mullet cut,” “I want to be an English major,” “I’m just gonna text my ex-girlfriend real quick” — those four words...
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America’s First Dog Cafe Is Nothing Like You’d Expect…It’s Better
America’s first dog cafe, located in Los Angeles, was nothing like I expected. But to be fair, my expectations were pretty goddamn high. I expected to be swarmed by a legion of friendly puppies and to...
View ArticleHow Hard Is It To Burn All The Calories In An In-N-Out Combo Meal?
A couple months ago, the Royal Society for Public Health (yes, that society is precisely as British as it sounds) proposed new labeling for snack foods. But they didn’t want to highlight the calories...
View ArticleDiscovering One Of America’s Best New Restaurants In The Least Likely Of Places
When the semifinalists for the James Beard Award for best new restaurant in America were announced a few months ago, all the expected players were present and accounted for: the big, the prestigious,...
View ArticleWatch Peanut Butter And Jelly Get The Food Porn Treatment
Food porn, much like actual porn, is fun to watch, but ultimately best left to the professionals. Because for every immaculately lit, professionally-scored, high-definition shot of sizzling meat on...
View ArticleA Cemetery Movie Night Can Flip Everything You Thought You Knew About Ghosts...
I don’t believe in ghosts. But, on the off chance I’m wrong about this, I try my best not to piss off any ghosts I may encounter. That means I don’t step on graves, I try my very best not to build...
View ArticleThe Woman Who Chased Her Dreams To The Top Of A Mountain…Then Jumped
There’s a granola bar company, I won’t say which company, but you know this company. This company has a logo of a man climbing a mountain. This company hired some of the best mountain climbers in the...
View ArticleDana Gould On The Relationship Between Comedy And Horror, And His New IFC...
You might not recognize Dana Gould right away, but you have probably laughed at his jokes — from his funny, informative podcast The Dana Gould Hour, to his stand-up (and stand-up specials), to his...
View ArticleWhen The Biggest Success Is Refusing To Ever Quit
Speaking as someone who has spent the entirety of his adult life trying (and mostly failing) to make a living as an artist: it is goddamn hard to make a living as an artist. Because for every book...
View ArticleThe Man Who Found His Coffee-Farming Future In The Strangest Of Places
Craigslist is used for many things by many people — typically selling old furniture or browsing job offers that are actually scams. But one night in 2010, Craigslist was used for good when a young man...
View ArticleA Guide To One Of California’s Last, Best Undiscovered Gems
When I told people I was going to Mendocino for a vacation, I usually heard a variation on one of these responses: “Huh…well good for you, then.” “Okay.” “I think my uncle went there. Maybe. He’s not...
View ArticleThere’s Never Been A More Important Time To Visit California Wine Country
“Fire is fickle.” In the two hours I spent with Triple S Ranch owner Derek Webb, he spoke of many things — of learning about a possible fire from a neighbor while eating a late dinner on a Sunday...
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The Case For Why Burritos Are Better Than Tacos
Wikimedia Commons Author’s note: I have written 2,200 words about burritos. My only regret is that it could not be 22,000. Let’s make one thing clear from the start: this article is not a hit piece on...
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The Ten Commandments For Working From A Coffee Shop
Uproxx This piece was originally published in 2015, but we found it today and fell back in love. I have written a lot of things in coffee shops. I have written books that have not sold. I have written...
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A Visit To One Of The Scariest Haunted Houses On Earth
Sonya Sones The haunted-house despising/ dashingly handsome author This piece ran previously. I hate being scared. I hate the dark. I hate enclosed spaces. I hate being touched by strangers. I’m so-so...
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Let Chef Jason Quinn Save You From Thanksgiving Dinner’s Five Deadly Sins
Uproxx / Anne Watson Photography This article has been updated. When a professional chef says that Thanksgiving dinner is “the Olympics of cooking,” you know that shit is serious. But every year,...
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